Thursday, May 7, 2009

what do i really want

okay i'm just going to put it out there. i want to live yes, in the country- as my recent facebook challenge tested me on, but also in a sustainable lifestyle, so I'd like to walk to places I frequent or at least bike or drive less than what I am doing now living in beautiful Matunuck on the outreaches of the great little town of Wakefield, RI. I love being by the beach, by the ocean enough to hear the waves, feel the mist and smell the sea breeze and ocean roses.

I like seeing the red bird sweep cross my path on Green Hill Beach Road and I love the drive along Matunuck School House Rd, but I'm always late and in a rush - so the sweep of nature is more of a tug at my heart than the calming pulse of it when the earth is beneath my feet. So I want to be in nature more and to be a part of my community more as a servant volunteer that is happily giving and receiving, and I want my boy Shane along side me.

I want a job... job... what a weird word. where or what did that word derive from? any one know, please do tell.
I want work that is not as competitive and heart breaking and as much a test of my ills. Sure I know you get what you need, and the perks are tremendous pluses. I love the friendly exchanges I have with my clients and seeing the communities evolve with progress, or change with seasons, in repair and disrepair, vacant buildings and spruced up ones. like today in Hope Valley - what a joy of a day working with Jon at URE outfitters and Doug at the Hack and Livery and having a Dels and checking out James' new digs all cool cafed out there. I was very impressed and pleased, because I need all the internet cafes I can get - that have style and appeal.

Okay, I want a man that I can love and who loves me back, unconditionally, and he must have the desire to grow and expand with me and my little family. I love to travel and want to explore the world with my son, and continue to cross the country with him on trips and extended stays in California, the other state I just absolutely love (besides Rhode Island- less the accents and the egos, RI is a sweet little state with a big heart and so much to offer and enjoy from simple pleasures like a walk on a beach to grand pleasures like sunset over the Newport bridge and dinners at BRuna's Table, Valuna or CAV or a movie at the Cable Car or sailing out to sea (which I haven't done enough of).

I want a career where I can continue to teach yoga and support my life mission, to spread LOHAS and LOVE, while also fulfilling my responsibilities with financial stability and security for my son and I, as well as the enrichment of our minds, spirits and soul through adventures of the heart and seeking out our interests and fulfilling dreams.

I'd love to be able to build or renovate a green home, simple,small and sustainable with views and tubs and decks or porches, flowering weeds and rock walls, maybe staw bale with big fat walls and stain glass windows.

I want to meet a man who is into this too, and wants to work with me to fulfill this dream, and also the dream of having a yoga studio in the communities we live in (physical and virtual) that are also proud and humble examples of sustainable living and community service *like the homes we live in. I want to help more mothers get on their mats and receive the guidance and support for self empowerment and connection that they need, whether in my own home towns or in a impoverished country around the world.

I want to help Shane see his father in the greatest light possible and to be a good, gentleman himself with confidence and artistry and productivity that serves others and provides a good life for himself that would make us all proud and grateful. Amen.

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